Five Steps to an Apology
Express regret.
“I am sorry that I … (say what you did)”.
Acknowledge how it has harmed the other person.
“I see this has harmed you …
- in this way ….
- and in this way …
- and this way …
- and in this way … e.t.c.
Accept responsibility (perhaps for some part)
“I was wrong …
- when I said …
- when I did …
- and when I assumed that …
- when I … etc.
Ask “What can I do to make it better?”
Genuine change.
Talk about what happens next that involves change that you can do.
Promise change.
Keep your promise.
Request forgiveness.
Ask your partner …”Will you forgive me?”
During this week
Watch these short YouTubes together.
Over the week, ask your partner, “Is now a good time to talk?”
Then, when it is a good time to talk, for them, ask them what you need to apologize for. Use the 5 steps. Apologize.
Each new apology seems to heal some of the damage to the relationship.
Henk Ensing
