Rock Solid Relationships

Getting the love you need

Get the love you want

Henk Ensing | Couple Coach

Henk coaches individuals and couples in restoring relationship connection, relationship mediation, and conflict resolution where the goal of the therapy to to help you both to ‘go-ahead’ in the relationship.

Online: Zoom / Skype / vidcam / on your device, PC, laptop, mobile phone or tablet.

 

Henk Ensing | Relationships

I provide help for couples like you and your partner

If there’s a struggle in your relationship, if conflict visits you frequently or if you simply want to improve the way you talk with each other (so the Arguing gets kicked out) – then this help is for you.

Learn to notice new things in your relationship.  Understand what is needed to release the conflict that is causing so much damage in your relationship. Practice many different ways to break the argument cycle. Practice, practice, practice.

Perhaps this help is what you need to get the love you want.

You can get this help by booking a session with me.

Hi, I’m Henk 

What are you noticing in your relationship?

More ...

I’ve been married to the same girl for 34 years. So I have much first-hand experience about what works in a relationship. Along with that experience, I also bring many current, leading relationship skills from world reknown relationship psychotherapists.

See my qualifications here.

Hi, I’m Henk 

 I coach couples.

Couples can learn to notice what is needed to release the conflict and to get the love they want. I can help with that.

I meet with couples

I also meet with you both separately, for about 15 minutes each, in the first session. We unpack the problem story in your relationship. I facilitate equality in sharing the problem story.

We meet Face2Face online, not in a meeting room. You and your partner meet with me on your device via the vidcam and conferencing software.

So you don’t have to drive to me. You’ll save travel time. It’s also easy to meet at home, or in your car on your device.

It often takes most couples several sessions for you both to develop the skills.

Qualifications

    • B Ed. University of Waikato
    • Associate of Science, BYUH
    • Post graduate studies in dispute resolution, 2019 – COUNS546, University of Waikato

Continuing Education

  • Student of Narrative Therapy Counselling at Dulwich Centre – Gateway to Narrative therapy
  • Student member of Resolution Institute – The largest dispute resolution membership organisation across Australia and New Zealand.

I work in New Zealand

 Ralph Waldo Emerson, once said:

Be not the slave of your own past. Plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep and swim far, so you shall come back with self respect, with new power, with an advanced experience that shall explain and overlook the old.

Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803–1882)

Relationship Counselling, marriage counselling and couple coaching.

Hi, I’m Henk Ensing. I work with individuals and with couples who want to improve their relationships.

Improving marriage relationships

Often a couple find themselves unable to communicate. Sometimes one or both feel as if love has left the relationship. Sometimes anger has crept in. Sometimes couples struggle to get along and this becomes a dominant visitor in the home. In all these cases, and more, help with the relationship may include unpacking the problem. Help can be learning new ways of living, loving and communicating. It can come in a session where some coaching can make all the difference.

How couple coaching helps the marriage relationship

I’m inviting you to come – come and prepare to change. 

You can choose to grow toward a sublime relationship – a relationship that is extremely good – even unparalleled – a relationship where you each become the best possible version of yourselves. 

How do you both feel about the idea of transformative change in your relationship and what does that mean? Sometimes, it means that things will be very different, or that your way of communicating will be totally different. This can be a huge relief to both of you when you have been trapped by habits in cycles of communication that are not serving you well.

Relationship Counselling and scope

It may be helpful to know the areas with which I do not help. My focus is on relationships and getting couples communicating to the point where they can go-on in the relationship. I include relationships with siblings, family, children and work colleagues. My work is not limited to relationships between a man and a woman. Other counsellors offer counselling in areas that are far out of the scope of my work. These include family counselling, addiction counselling, grief counselling, sex therapy, and mental health counselling. I do not offer any of these services. I am focused on conflict coaching with couples who have relationship issues. I use John Winslade’s approach of conflict coaching, in it’s entirely. The following areas I do not cover:

Areas of counselling

  • Marriage and relationship counsellors work with married couples or couples who live together and are in conflict. Married couples often take words from marriage counselors to heart. (Be sure your marriage and family counselor is certified to practice in your location.)
  • Family counsellors work with the family as a whole unit to provide social work and counseling services. While a therapist or social worker may see family members individually for more information — the primary focus of the social worker is on the family as a whole.
  • Addiction counsellors work with individuals who are addicted to substances or activities such as gambling or gaming. People who see addiction counselors are often referred for additional social work-related services like employment or housing services.
  • Grief Counsellors work with those who have suffered a loss of a loved one to provide counseling, social work, and other support services to help family members progress through the stages of the grieving process.
  • Sex Counsellors/therapists work with couples or individuals experiencing issues of a sexual nature or with sexual intimacy.
  • Mental health counsellors work with individuals who have been diagnosed with depression and other mental health disorders that can be managed through a range of therapies.

I offer couple conflict coaching where an individual or couple wants to go-on in an improved relationship. This coaching involves unpacking the problem and looking into the relationship to see what skills will help. It probably will involve change by one or both of you and practice in sessions to get it perfected until you can both get along on your own. You may find you have a new relationship with the same person as a result.

Book a session

Between sessions, practice new skills to improve your abilities until you notice early and kick-in to your training.

Like any skill, it may take several sessions for you notice early, breathe and choose a helpful response. Keep practicing so you improve to the point where you have both released your grip on the conflict.

You might choose to take your new skills into the new relationship you build.

Get the love you want.

Create a new relationship with your partner

By building new skills and habits, you will be empowered to take action and create lasting change.

I work in New Zealand

 Ralph Waldo Emerson, once said:

Be not the slave of your own past. Plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep and swim far, so you shall come back with self respect, with new power, with an advanced experience that shall explain and overlook the old.

Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803–1882)

Relationship Counselling, marriage counselling and couple coaching.

Hi, I’m Henk Ensing. I work with individuals and with couples who want to improve their relationships.

Improving marriage relationships

Often a couple find themselves unable to communicate. Sometimes one or both feel as if love has left the relationship. Sometimes anger has crept in. Sometimes couples struggle to get along and this becomes a dominant visitor in the home. In all these cases, and more, help with the relationship may include unpacking the problem. Help can be learning new ways of living, loving and communicating. It can come in a session where some coaching can make all the difference.

How couple coaching helps the marriage relationship

I’m inviting you to come – come and prepare to change. 

You can choose to grow toward a sublime relationship – a relationship that is extremely good – even unparalleled – a relationship where you each become the best possible version of yourselves. 

How do you both feel about the idea of transformative change in your relationship and what does that mean? Sometimes, it means that things will be very different, or that your way of communicating will be totally different. This can be a huge relief to both of you when you have been trapped by habits in cycles of communication that are not serving you well.

Relationship Counselling and scope

It may be helpful to know the areas with which I do not help. My focus is on relationships and getting couples communicating to the point where they can go-on in the relationship. I include relationships with siblings, family, children and work colleagues. My work is not limited to relationships between a man and a woman. Other counsellors offer counselling in areas that are far out of the scope of my work. These include family counselling, addiction counselling, grief counselling, sex therapy, and mental health counselling. I do not offer any of these services. I am focused on conflict coaching with couples who have relationship issues. I use John Winslade’s approach of conflict coaching, in it’s entirely. The following areas I do not cover:

Areas of counselling

  • Marriage and relationship counsellors work with married couples or couples who live together and are in conflict. Married couples often take words from marriage counselors to heart. (Be sure your marriage and family counselor is certified to practice in your location.)
  • Family counsellors work with the family as a whole unit to provide social work and counseling services. While a therapist or social worker may see family members individually for more information — the primary focus of the social worker is on the family as a whole.
  • Addiction counsellors work with individuals who are addicted to substances or activities such as gambling or gaming. People who see addiction counselors are often referred for additional social work-related services like employment or housing services.
  • Grief Counsellors work with those who have suffered a loss of a loved one to provide counseling, social work, and other support services to help family members progress through the stages of the grieving process.
  • Sex Counsellors/therapists work with couples or individuals experiencing issues of a sexual nature or with sexual intimacy.
  • Mental health counsellors work with individuals who have been diagnosed with depression and other mental health disorders that can be managed through a range of therapies.

I offer couple conflict coaching where an individual or couple wants to go-on in an improved relationship. This coaching involves unpacking the problem and looking into the relationship to see what skills will help. It probably will involve change by one or both of you and practice in sessions to get it perfected until you can both get along on your own. You may find you have a new relationship with the same person as a result.

Help to get through the conflict

I can meet with you in an online session and coach you in your relationship skills.

It is helpful to preceed couple therapy by meeting separately.

Let’s meet online on your device

Couple Conflict Coaching

You and your partner meet with me online on your device.

Ideal if you both hope to improve your relationship, even if you do not have specific problems. Also, when conflict visits the relationship, conflict coaching can help you both to go-on.

Resolving couple conflict and incompatibilities

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Some of your incompatibilities will be important ones. Partners will not be able to slough them off as insignificant or treat them with indifference.

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