I’m Henk

Relationship Coach

I help individuals and couples in conflict to loosen their grip on conflict that afficts the relationship.

Individuals and couples can then consider how intentional change can affect the relationship.

Your choice can determine where it goes from here. 

My Work

Benefits of meeting for couple coaching

  1.  Go directly into learning the skills from the outset
  2.  We work on skills acquisition and practice
  3.  You can immediately begin to practise skills on each other
  4.  Individuals can come in for coaching without their partner and still make great progress in each session
  5.  The second session includes an unpacking the conflict between you

I’ll coach you in skills that will loosen your grip on the conflict

Your relationship can change. And you and your partner can change it. By intentionally attending to your relationship, using new skills and awarenesses, you can bring about the transformation that you know you have needed for so long.

It can be a great relief to feel the conflict leave. If you are tired of having the conflict between you, there is a lot you can do about it. Making several changes that will shape your relationship can bring happiness back into the relationship.

If you are tired of the blame game, then it is time to act. Couples usually wait far too long and the cost to their relationship is too high. Get help early and often.

Couple Coaching

Your first session

Your first session is where we unravel the conflict, find out what is happening in the relationship – both helpful and unhelpful behaviours. Usually it can be good to meet individually with each of you for part of the session.

I’ll learn what skills will help each of you and coach you in some of these.

In following sessions you’ll get more coaching and practice to improve the relationship interactions and actions affecting the relationship. In these sessions we will look at your progress as individuals and as a couple.

About me

Henk Ensing

Conflict coaching in relationships


I work with you as a person, whatever your relationship difficulties. My practice is grounded in Narrative, John Winslade’s approach to couple coaching, Gottman skills and I use some Imago principles.


Jenny and I began to practice Imago communication principles after we attended an Imago training course together. We use these skills, and many more, every day. I am committed to on-going study and post my insights on my blog.



  • B Ed. University of Waikato
  • Associate of Science, BYUH
  • Post graduate studies in dispute resolution, 2019 – COUNS546, University of Waikato.
  • Student of Narrative Therapy Counselling at Dulwich Centre – Gateway to Narrative therapy
  • Student member of Resolution Institute – The largest disputer resolution membership organisation across Australia and New Zealand.


  • Adolescents (16+)
  • Individuals
  • Couples


New Zealand


  • Eclectic
  • Narrative conflict coaching (John Winslade’s approach)

Relationship Insights Blog

My Thoughts & Insights

Henk and Jenny at Waikawau summit.

Phone or email me for a free phone consultation.

Email me

M. 027 2284 570

Code of Ethics to which I subscribe: Resolution Institute

I strive to abide by the Resolution Institute Code of Ethics. Caveat CoE Item 21; I do not carry insurance. Clients can choose to carry their own insurance.

Need help to get through the conflict?

Henk Ensing | Relationships