How to Find a Hamilton Marriage Counsellor in Who Fits Your Exact Needs

Hamilton City is full of amazing talent, especially with regard to relationship health professionals. This abundance of superb psychologists, social workers and marriage counsellors works for and against you. This is especially true when you’re trying to find the right marriage counsellor who fits your needs. 

You have the seemingly impossible task of matching your couple communication challenges with marriage counsellors who are actually skilled in relationship repair. And couple coaching. Also, one who has openings in their schedule at a convenient time. Plus, one who seem to closely fit the description of what you think you need and that can feel nearly impossible. 

Here are some tips for finding the perfect therapist for your current emotional needs. This post aims to make your search a bit easier. Especially better if you realize the value of helpful couple work from the better counsellors.


Stopping the shouting in marriage relationships

#marriage counsellor
#relationship counsellor
#marriage counseling
#couple coaching
#couples counseling
#relationship counselling

marriage counseling

1. Do your due diligence in the form of online research to find a marriage counsellor in Hamilton City.

Don’t just stop at the GoogleMy Business Therapist near you. Push further. What does a potential relationship therapist’s website say?

Do you get a good feeling when you see a picture of the Hamilton Marriage Counsellor? As some older generations might say, “Is it a face you can trust?”

Do they look like they have the life experience and relationship wisdom you need. Go with your gut reaction. Let’s build on this…

marriage counseling

2. Learn what else a marriage counsellor is about.

Look beyond the therapist’s basic profile and marketing. Does a counsellor’s online presence give you any indication of what he or she is involved in beyond what’s expected?

Most therapists claim to be experts in helping people with depression, anxiety and relationships. This might not be helpful if your issue is primarily couple communication, so cut to the chase on this.

Can you find any evidence to support the therapist’s claim that he or she is an expert on a given subject matter?

Do they blog about a topic in line with their expertise?

marriage counseling

3. Be strategic with how you reach out to marriage counsellors in Hamilton.

Most millennials avoid calling therapists. They prefer to email.

Perhaps this is a big mistake because you get so much valuable information from a call to a potential counsellor.

Allow yourself to make an exception. Pay attention to the vibe you get on the phone. Is the relationship counsellor patient with you? Rushing you? Does the conversation feel safe?

marriage counseling

4. Ask one or two questions pertaining to what you want the marriage counsellor to help you work on.

Get a sense of the counsellor’s perspective on the topics that you plan to talk about. It can be one quick and simple question.

For example, if you’re coming for help with a couple communication problem, you can ask, “What would your cognitive behavioral approach to couple communication problems look like?”

Or “What would you say is your specialty?” Listen for the way he or she thinks and talks about relationship therapy.

Do they sound like someone you can be totally vulnerable with?

marriage counseling


5. You are really the interviewer in the first session, not the marriage counsellor.

As much as the first session is about finding relief from emotional suffering, it’s also a beautiful opportunity for you to interview your therapist to see if it’s the right fit. Interview them to find the best fit for you in Hamilton city.

Unless you trust your instincts that you’ve found “the one,” I recommend trying out two or three marriage counsellors to see who feels the most helpful.

Vary the potential therapists by some quality, such as gender, age theoretical orientation or type of clinician.

Obviously, there are also practical elements that can prohibit you from trying out multiple therapists, such as financial constraints and having limited hours to schedule an appointment.

If you’re trying to find a couple coach in Hamilton East, I’m guessing you’ll have to skip #5 because there probably won’t be too many options. So look widely across Nawton and Te Rapa as well as other Hamilton suburbs.

See how each relationship therapist guides the discussion. Do they let you get lost in details? Does it seem like they’re listening?

Do they seem mechanical?

Did they let you do all of the talking? (Not ideal in my book.)

Do they follow a highly structured approach?

Are they who they the type of therapist as advertised on the internet? 

marriage counseling

6. Setting Couple Goals. 

See how the marriage therapist relates to goal setting. Be sure to talk about goals if the therapist doesn’t ask about them.

The reason this is so important is because a more psychodynamic, traditional therapist probably won’t want to talk about goals as much as a cognitive-behavioral psychologist.

Couple coaches may be also helpful in goal setting. I believe a discussion about goals is essential in the first session. Even though you may be hurting.

You get so much information about how structured the relationship therapist is and the extent to which the therapist views therapy as an open-ended, never-ending process or a realistic, solution-focused, collaborative endeavor.

Without goals you’ll eventually find yourself wandering with your words through a wasteful, therapeutic wasteland. Goals keep you and the therapist accountable. 

If you walk out of the first session feeling significantly more hopeful and excited for the therapeutic process, then you know you’ve either found a gem of a therapist and/or you made a smart decision to seek help and the timing is right. 

Feel free to add comments or questions. I love feedback.

marriage counseling

Author Bio

The work I do is with couple relationships. Casualties in couple relationships need triage to help deal with the huge upset when trust is lost. When the immediate problem is explored together, The Problem can be addressed. Then discussed. The hurt can be assessed.

Often, partners don’t know how to work through the steps to an apology for past hurts. The arguing seems to get in the way. I’ll help you both through that difficulty. Then, setting and respecting relationship boundaries is often an important process to ensure future safety in the family. In the relationship.

I bring awareness and insights to the conversation to take you through the conflict. The insights I bring help in building trust, and after a time, there’s hope that love will grow new again.

Relationships and couples’ histories are diverse. It is not one size fitting all. I see what is needed for each couple and work with that. It is nice for me to see couples heal and to be able to move ahead, or go-on in the relationship. Seeing into the relationship is the hard work I do. Hard, yet important work.

There’s a greatness I see in individuals as they choose and change. As they use the tools. Seeing trust and joy return to what looked like a doomed relationship, is just an amazingly great experience in my work.

I’m Henk, and this is the work I do. 

Couples & Relationships








Rock Solid Relationships: 

Couple communication &


Hamilton East – Huntington – Pukete – Flagstaff