Henk Ensing

Conflict Coaching for relationship repair

Congratulations on taking the first step towards making changes in your life!

Relationship Repair


By building new skills and habits, you will be empowered to take action and create lasting change.

I work in New Zealand

 Ralph Waldo Emerson, once said:

Be not the slave of your own past. Plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep and swim far, so you shall come back with self respect, with new power, with an advanced experience that shall explain and overlook the old.

Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803–1882)

Relationship Counselling, marriage counselling and couple coaching.

Hi, I’m Henk Ensing. I work with individuals and with couples who want to improve their relationships.

Improving marriage relationships

Often a couple find themselves unable to communicate. Sometimes one or both feel as if love has left the relationship. Sometimes anger has crept in. Sometimes couples struggle to get along and this becomes a dominant visitor in the home. In all these cases, and more, help with the relationship may include unpacking the problem. Help can be learning new ways of living, loving and communicating. It can come in a session where some coaching can make all the difference.

How couple coaching helps the marriage relationship

I’m inviting you to come – come and prepare to change. 

You can choose to grow toward a sublime relationship – a relationship that is extremely good – even unparalleled – a relationship where you each become the best possible version of yourselves. 

How do you both feel about the idea of transformative change in your relationship and what does that mean? Sometimes, it means that things will be very different, or that your way of communicating will be totally different. This can be a huge relief to both of you when you have been trapped by habits in cycles of communication that are not serving you well.

Relationship Counselling and scope

It may be helpful to know the areas with which I do not help. My focus is on relationships and getting couples communicating to the point where they can go-on in the relationship. I include relationships with siblings, family, children and work colleagues. My work is not limited to relationships between a man and a woman. Other counsellors offer counselling in areas that are far out of the scope of my work. These include family counselling, addiction counselling, grief counselling, sex therapy, and mental health counselling. I do not offer any of these services. I am focused on conflict coaching with couples who have relationship issues. I use John Winslade’s approach of conflict coaching, in it’s entirely. The following areas I do not cover:

Areas of counselling

  • Marriage and relationship counsellors work with married couples or couples who live together and are in conflict. Married couples often take words from marriage counselors to heart. (Be sure your marriage and family counselor is certified to practice in your location.)
  • Family counsellors work with the family as a whole unit to provide social work and counseling services. While a therapist or social worker may see family members individually for more information — the primary focus of the social worker is on the family as a whole.
  • Addiction counsellors work with individuals who are addicted to substances or activities such as gambling or gaming. People who see addiction counselors are often referred for additional social work-related services like employment or housing services.
  • Grief Counsellors work with those who have suffered a loss of a loved one to provide counseling, social work, and other support services to help family members progress through the stages of the grieving process.
  • Sex Counsellors/therapists work with couples or individuals experiencing issues of a sexual nature or with sexual intimacy.
  • Mental health counsellors work with individuals who have been diagnosed with depression and other mental health disorders that can be managed through a range of therapies.

I offer couple conflict coaching where an individual or couple wants to go-on in an improved relationship. This coaching involves unpacking the problem and looking into the relationship to see what skills will help. It probably will involve change by one or both of you and practice in sessions to get it perfected until you can both get along on your own. You may find you have a new relationship with the same person as a result.

Helping you both get through the conflict

I can meet with you in an online session and coach you in your relationship skills.

It is helpful to preceed couple therapy by meeting separately.

Let’s meet online on your device

Couple Conflict Coaching

You and your partner meet with me online on your device.

Ideal if you both hope to improve your relationship, even if you do not have specific problems. Also, when conflict visits the relationship, conflict coaching can help you both to go-on.

Closer Couples

Invite your partner to accompany you to a once-a-week date to Couple Class. Meet in my weekly Young Marrieds class on Zoom. Join other couples in my coach-facilitated workshop.

Closer Couples

Weekly group, couples meet online

Meet with other couples each week to learn marriage and relationship skills.

Weekly group – Young Marrieds meet online

Even when you are far apart, you can still attend together. Call it your weekly date. Always plan to do something fun after Young Marrieds Class.

Resolving couple conflict and incompatibilities

Some of your incompatibilities will be important ones. Partners will not be able to slough them off as insignificant or treat them with indifference.

Meet me online

on your device:

webcam / Skype / Zoom / mobile / tablet

Couples meet me online

Henk Ensing | Relationships