Betrayal Trauma and Couple Communication

What is betrayal trauma?

When betrayal enters a relationship, one of the partners may experience a specific trauma around the betrayal.

Betrayal brings with it loss. The loss of trust. The loss off certainty. The Loss of the relationship that had been shared. Grief can accompany the loss that overwelms a partner following betrayal. Anger, helplessness, fear, uncertainty and other emotions are common as part of the grief that accompanies betrayal.

So, partner Betrayal Trauma is a unique form of trauma that occurs within relationships. It is caused by your partner or significant other. You trusted in them. They broke that trust and created the trauma as a result.

You may need help to communicate this loss, grief, and betrayal trauma with your partner.

How long is a session?


I’ve just discovered betrayal in our relationship, when should I reach out?

The sooner the better. If your partner doesn’t want to attend a couples session then it’s important you still get support urgently to gain a sense of safety again.

I recommend seeing a therapist who specialises in betrayal within 3 days of discovery. You will need support early on to help you through.

I do offer after-hours and urgent couple communication and individual betrayal sessions where you communicate with me about the event.

If you don’t need urgent support then I will still see you as soon you book a session.

Will couple sessions be enough?

Couple work can attend to the issue. Relationship work can help you as a couple.

Couple communication sessions can help you to communicate the hurt to your partner.

Both of these types of couple sessions can help to confront and address hard issues.

Partners who have been betrayed often need their own personal counselling alongside couples communication sessions. I can refer you to a general family counsellor for this as I do not do this kind of work.

If you work with me you could start together with a couples session and then we make a plan for what’s needed next.

I think I’m going to leave, do I still need counselling?

It seems that couples can separate in a healthy way if they have enough support. There will still be recovery/healing work for you to do once you have separated.

You will need on-going support through this time.

What if I see you on the street and you know all about my life?

Yes, that might happen and that can be OK.

I won’t approach you or disclose to anyone that I know you or your partner.

This has happened before and has been completely fine.

How can I help you with Betrayal Trauma?

I can help you in a few different ways. You can meet with me for an initial couple session around the betrayal. Then, we can open up ways for you to communicate with your partner, ways to communicate the hurt and the effects upon you.

What if it is out of my scope of practice?

For general family counselling I will refer you to someone else who works in that area. If it is specifically within my scope of practice, I can meet with you about relationship.

Couple work can attend to the betrayal you are experiencing.

What if I betrayed my partner?

If you have invited Betrayal Trauma into the relationship, I can meet with you around your new path forward. A better path with boundaries and new choices to protect the relationship in the future. A new, true, transparent path forward can be healing for you too. I can help you communicate with your partner when The Hurting is present.

I can guide you in an apology process to address The Hurting you may have invited into the relationship. I can show you how to engage in trust building conversations to begin creating a better, new relationship, with your partner.