How to improve relationship communication

So you’ve met with me as a couple. You’ll know by now that I ask that you and your partner practice at home, what you have learned in the couple session with me.

Why communication is important in a relationship

Sharing a life with your partner can mean conquering obstacles as a couple. Perhaps it means expressing frustrations and uncertainties constructively.

This can be learned and practiced with a relationships coach or couples therapist.
You are a couple who want help with that, and you have come to my work-place (in Hamilton, New Zealand) where we have practiced skills to make those changes.

You will know that my work with you as a couple is to see which relationship tools are most needed to bring about the changes you both want.

Each week I work with you both together, helping each of you make the changes that will bring about the hoped-for change in the relationship.

How to work on relationship communication

“Getting the love you want, keeping the love you find and connecting securely and deeply with your partner, these are the goals of Imago Relationship Therapy” (Imago Relationships, Getting The Love You Want, 2021).

They are also the goals many couples have in my practice.
Couples, like you, come to see me to learn and practice relationship tools.

It seems that the relationship tools we practice help you to resolve conflict while staying connected.

In the practice sessions, you and your partner might notice that deepening intimacy in a safe space invites vulnerability (Imago Relationships, Getting The Love You Want, 2021).
Perhaps that opens up communication between you. Couple communication.

How to improve couple communication

Communicating effectively with your partner is the key.
It can be seen to be the key to maintaining a long and rewarding relationship.

So I’m asking you to practise at home, the skills we practised during the couple session.

Sharing a life together means meeting and conquering obstacles as a couple.
We do this while expressing uncertainties and frustrations constructively. (Imago Relationships, Getting The Love You Want, 2021).

How to fix relationship communication problems

Often couples come to my work-place to learn how to fix their relationship problems.

Keep booking followup sessions until the communication issues are fixed.

Fixing relationship communication problems can be like taking antibiotics. Don’t quit early. Run the whole course.

Imago professionals offer therapy and educational workshops for individuals and couples throughout the world.

However, perhaps you have both come to my work-place and started the process of learning how to improve your couple communication.

Practicing at home, what you have learned in the couple sessions, will perhaps bring about the biggest change.

So ask your partner “Is now a good time to talk.”
Also, share appreciations daily.

What to do when communication breaks down in a relationship

Use all the tools we have practiced in the session.

Grow a heightened awareness around the words you speak.
Especially have an awareness around the use of words that could be defensiveness, contempt, criticism or stonewalling.

How can couples improve communication?

It seems that couples can best improve communication by meeting with me in couple sessions and also practicing what you have both learned, at home.

Many couples find it to be helpful to book the next session for the following week. This allows time to practice the tools at home.

It also means you know you’ll be shifting and shaping the relationship each week.

Meeting weekly means you will not take too long to address the issues.

So keep setting aside time to talk. Schedule time with your partner to practice using the tools.
Ask when is a good time to talk.

Carve out time each day for the relationship.
Treat it as reserved time. The highest of all priorities. Schedule work especially, around it.
Work can wait.

The job can take a back seat to the relationship for 8 minutes a day. Five days a week.
Agree to no exceptions to this.
Also, schedule some self-care time after meeting and talking together.

Plan in self-care -time after meeting in a session with me each week. Perhaps go on a short date where you agree not to talk about any hot topics.

You could plan if you need to meet again in a session, and when to book the next session online. Then, Just chill and recover. Together.

Agree on some boundaries. You could agree not to talk about work. Not to talk about the children. Not to talk about the session or hot topics. Just self-care. Then keep within the boundaries you have set together.

I hope you go well for the week. I hope you improve in awareness this week.

I’ll see you next time.


Imago Relationships, Getting the Love You Want. Retrieved May 28, 2021, from